Murphy's law
Celibacy is not hereditory.
Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes to the bone.
If everything seems to be going well, you obviously don't know what the hell is going on.
Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
The other queue always moves faster.
Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought.
The chance of a slice of bread falling butterside down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
Never sleep with someone crazier than yourself.
The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours before.
A short cut is the longest distance between two points.
Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train.
Murphy's golden rule: whoever has the gold makes the rules.
No matter how long you shop for an item, once you've bought it, it will be on sale somewhere else cheaper.
In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don't need it.
Murphy was an optimist.
